Wonderings in wandering

  I was out walking today Trying to clear my head After a morning of too much study, Twitter And coffee. On the way to town, listening to jazz I tried to slow down my mind Counting flat, fallen, autumn leaves Making words from number plates Avoiding kids on their bikes. I came out of Boots with My blue sweets for the weekend And stopped for a double espresso. Having just crossed the road, it hit me: Today, this week, this lifetime Is just a blink in the history of humankind. Which is just a blink in time itself. No matter what I do No matter what is done to me The world will carry on regardless…. Such a wonderfully ego crushing insight I felt light, things made sense. I strolled on with a smile on my face As Kamasi blew…..

W.H.O.   Do you need someone? On this World Mental Health Day Does someone need you?  

  Irlen Syndrome I thought I’d try reading again But when my eyes scan across that off-white page The words animate…. Slippery                    little                                                      bastards. As I try focus on one, The next j s l s in front of it                 o t e What I’m about to read distracting Me from what I am reading….. Its not the spelling, I was always top at that! Its pinning down the words Comprehensible in sentence to a Into a comprehensible sentence, While try...

  Mrs Smith A pale face, dark eyes, an uneasy smile, Surrounded by a mass of tangly black curls, She sat in that circle Unengaged, aloof, disruptive, There for everyone else’s sake But her own. Trapped in a world by demons who Would let her see another way But kept her from it because It wouldn’t serve their obsessive needs. Within screaming distance but held behind thick glass, Visible but achingly unreachable. And now she appears, life Shining from her eyes. A purpose in her movement An energy no longer nervous or restrained. An arrogant addiction now replaced By an enthusiastic vulnerability. The tangle of curls now worn up To frame a new maturity. She sits in the circle for her own sake now Proving to everyone else that she is worthy, Meeting life bravely while hearts around her Now swell with inspiration.

  This Developed Nation In this Developed Nation, a 19 year old woman sleeps in a bag in a door way. In this Developed Nation, a working family of four relies on the local food bank. In this Developed Nation, grandmothers live on a pittance and die lonely. In this Developed Nation, my friends use drugs to fill a spiritual chasm. In this Developed Nation, stateless refugees are kept in cages while processed. In this Developed Nation, slave labour is abolished, but persists. In this Developed Nation, the media patronizes and panders to the lowest common denominator. In this Developed Nation, the unscrupulous employers bulldoze workers rights. In this Developed Nation, the population is kept divided and ineffective. In this Developed Nation, ‘I’m not a racist...but...’ In this Developed Nation, black people are stop/searched nine times more than whites. In this Developed Nation, under four percent of rape reports end in conviction. In this Developed Nation, seventeen percent o...

Detachment     Looking from the other side of the mirror, Seeing through dirty glasses, There is something not real about this moment Like looking at a reflection of a reflection of a reflection…. Something just undefinable, A gap between my here, And their here. My now, And their now. So fine as to be invisible but so wide That one is unaware of the other. I’m existing in their world But not of their world. Watching life as a live broadcast With a nano-second delay. Seeing the muzzle flash Then hearing the shot. The familiar is unfamiliar, The same, though different. Like the thinnest sheet of clear ice My perception could shatter….. But then do I return to what was before? Or am I left with an existence of emptiness?

  Easy Fix It was the sort of feeling I always drank on: Frustration, Banging my head against a wall Screwing myself into a ball Wanting to shout out, to get away, To calm my mind, a need to relax. The easy fix that always works. Flushing myself through with poison Washing what’s inside away To find myself in exquisite numbness. Short term gain and long term pain.